I awoke this morning to see such a mess That I thought a flame-thrower would be best To rid my apartment of the gunk and the grime That has been collecting since around Christmas time

Depending on where you live, the first day of Spring might as well have been April Fools day. I woke up on Friday morning and looked out my window, expecting to see swarms of birds cruising in and out of the frame in a flurry of activity, chirping their morning songs and pecking at last night's pizza crust. Instead, I witnessed the accumulation of an inch or two of snow on my grill outside while the voice of a talking head weatherman was preparing me to understand that this would continue all day long. And continue it did. Hour after hour, large, wet flakes fell from the sky, passively smirking at our petty declaration that today is the first day of ...

Tomorrow marks the first day of the last 366 days of my twenties. A tip of the hat to the Laws of Leap Year for seeing it fit to allow me one extra day of sweet, sweet immaturity before the inevitability of time strips me of my youth and issues me a pair of bifocals and an antacid. Somewhere up in the astral heavens, Saturn is swinging around its orbit of the Sun around the same place it was when I was first brought into this world, a time when crapping my pants and crying for various reasons dominated my schedule. Depending on who you ask, they might tell you not much has changed since then. Nevertheless, I have managed to put one foot in front of ...

Tomorrow, March 9th, is my dad's birthday and a week after that, it'll be my birthday. We've shared the month of March and a similar disinterest in celebrating our birthdays for as long as I can remember, with our wishes each year falling more on the side of a UNC victory over Duke, or a deep run into the ACC and NCAA tournaments, as opposed to wanting any sort of party or pile of presents. Since leaving home for college, it's more common for us to spend our birthdays apart than it is for us to spend our birthdays together. In addition to the bummer of not being able to spend time with my pops and the rest of my family, the second worst part of this ...

If your 2015 has been anything like mine, you may be looking at your calendar today and scratching your head in confusion. March? Huh? Where the hell did January and February go? I know February is the shortest month of the year and all, but I didn't think it was that short. We're now closer to Spring Break than we are Winter Break and I could have sworn it was just last week that we suffered through watching Ryan Seacrest bore us into another January. Yet, somehow, the calendar clearly states that today is unequivocally March-mothafuckin'-First. What happened? Where did the time go? Back when I was still naively optimistic and believed that I ...